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Wedding Wednesday: The Engagement Party

Engagement Tea Party – Saturday 19th September 2015 Last Saturday we held our engagement party at our house, we spent the day with around ...

19/10/2011

Guest Post: Beauty for Those Who Can’t Beauty

This one's for the messy girls. You know who you are.
The girls who grew up thinking glamorous meant wearing matching socks and tucking your t-shirt into your elastic waist-band jeans.
The chiquitas who get smudges all over their nose whenever they try to apply mascara.
To all you ladies who roll out of bed approximately twenty minutes before class or work begins, despite your seventeen minute commute - this one's for you.
I'm bRob of Conversations between B and InterWebs, and these are my:
Beauty How-To's for the Lazy and the Clueless
Let's walk, step-by-step, through my morning routine.
After hitting snooze twelve times, rolling [read: falling] out of bed, running into a couple of walls on the way to the powder room, and groggily splashing some cool water on my eye-gunk encrusted face, I must make a pivotal decision: do I feel like showering this morning?
Truth: Probably not. Maybe I'm hitting the gym later [...I haven't given up on that New Years resolution], maybe I have lab-cleaning duty, maybe I'm feelin' like a slacker...
Either way, I've gotta knock this into shape, but how?
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Dry Shampoo
Use: De-greasify your hair
Directions: Take the can and spray at the roots of your head from a few inches away. Make sure you get all of your hair, including the back.
After spraying, run your fingers through your hair, thoroughly rubbing in the shampoo.
Beginner's Tip: If you fail to rub it in thoroughly, you will have awkward white blotches all over your hair.
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Why I recommend it: For those of us who have hair that gets all kindsa greasy and clumpy after about five hours, the fine powder does a good job of getting between the roots and separating the hairs, leaving your hair looking plumped, voluminous, and fresh [doesn't that sound saucy?].
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For a fresh, degunkified face, give the face a good scrub with a facial cleanser suited for your skin type, and then apply a non-comedogenic [won't clog your pores] moisturizer. 
Anti-Wrinkle Moisturizer
Use: Make your face less dry. And wrinkly.
Directions: Rub it on your face.
Beginner's Tip: Try not to get overzealous when unscrewing the cap to your lotion, because given the proximity of the bathroom mirror to the toilet, there's a chance you might accidentally toss it in the bowl [done it].
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Why I recommend it: At the ripe old age of I'mNotThatOldYet, I have a boatload of crows' feet. As long as you're taking care of the dry skin, why not take some preventative measures?
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As for my makeup routine...well, I barely have one. I like to keep it simple, and we're going to pretend that's merely because less is more, not also because I don't know how to make-up.
I don't spend any time on the foundation unless I 
a) I got out of bed early enough [that never happens]
b) acne is ravaging my face [always the start of a good week]
Instead, I focus on areas that could use a little pop by applying:
Concealer
Use: Hide the juicier spots on your face.
Directions: I focus on the bags under the eye by dabbing and rubbing in with my finger.
Why I recommend it: There is no need for copious amounts of makeup to hide perfectly healthy and fresh-looking skin. Use concealer to hide the rougher patches...like puffy under-eye bags [got 'em!].
Eye Liner & Mascara
Use: Quick and Simple Way to Make Your Eyes Look Awesome
If you are of  a pasty complexion, try using brown instead of black. I use:
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It's pocket friendly and it plumps your lashes.
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I prefer a push-up liner rather than a pencil or a liquid liner - less mess!
Beginner's Tip: If you have a nose smack-dab in the middle of your face like I do, there's a chance you may hit your schnoz with the mascara brush [done it]. Double check that mess before you leave the house.
No joke, that's my entire makeup routine. Concealer hides any glaring blemishes, and simply adding eye liner and mascara looks instantly glamorous. Occasionally I'll feel saucy or whimsical and try adding the lip gloss or lipstick to the mix, but then I generally spend the next hour trying to detach my hair from sticky lips...so mostly I don't do that.
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Now, to do something about that recently plumped hair: 
Hot Curlers
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I spent all of Christmas break last year trying to figure out the best way to use my curlers [what better way to celebrate the holidays?]. After a lot of asymmetry and a bit of this,clip_image009
I finally discovered a technique that works for me. I prefer a loose curl at the tips of my hair to give my hair some subtle bounce and control the tips [otherwise, my hair flips out weirdly like a mullet].
Directions: Let your curlers heat for approximately 15 minutes. For a looser curl, use the largest curlers you have. Take one chunk [technical term] of hair and roll it up about two inches [I prefer to roll over, not under]. Clip the curler in place. Leave the curlers in for 2 - 7 ish minutes [depending on how long it takes me to remember they're attached to my head]. Brush the curls out gently after removing the curlers.
Beginner's Tip: If you don't want a tight, glued-in curl, go easy on the hairspray. You can even try spraying your hair brush rather than your hair directly.
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Why I recommend it: Once you've nailed your look down, this takes less than 2 minutes. Start heating the curlers while you're showering or eating breakfast, clip 'em in really quickly [make sure your hair is dry!], and then take them out, fluff your hair, and run. 
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On a semi-decent hair day, when I take my own advice and try out these things out, I might come out looking like this:
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But, in the interest of full disclosure, half of the time I fall out of bed, put on the least dirty jeans I can find, and run out the door  looking like this:
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It's on those days I remind myself that confidence is what really makes a girl beautiful. 
What are your on-the-run beauty go-to's?
-bRob

10 comments:

  1. Haha! xD funny! That's pretty much my morning ritual as well...
    Minus the makeup when I'm really running late or know I'm gonna rub my eyes from lack of sleep...(no one like mascara in their eyes, or smudged eyeliner).

    Funnily enough I just did a review of some dry shampoos on my blog, gotta say I prefer Batiste atm.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I loved this. Super cute and made me laugh. I really like the pics. My routine is only slightly different. I add blusher on the makeup routine just because it brightens my pale, zombified from sleep, face.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahaha I loved that last picture!!

    That is what I look like most mornings!!
    This was great - I use the same mascara. I love it!!!

    xx
    coffeefashionlaughterlove.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't wear makeup at all on a daily basis (there has to be something special going on that day or night) but I find that Mark's lighten and depuff eye gel does a number for my dark puffy eyes. When I haven't used it in a long time, I notice a difference in two days.

    http://shop.avon.com/shop/product.aspx?src_page=product_list.aspx&level1_id=300&level2_id=469&pdept_id=484&dept_id=577&pf_id=33651

    I also find that heated eyelash curlers are a great no-makeup way to make me look less sleepy!

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  5. this was posted for me! I am totally that girl you described in the beginning. wake up at 7:30 to be at work at 8.. yup. Thanks for sharing!

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  6. Great post :) some of those photos made me giggle absolutely love them :) I'm such a 'rush and go' person most mornings dry shampoo and liquid eyeliner are my lifesavers!

    Sarah
    http://fashionismyh2o.blogspot.com/
    xx

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  7. Great post! I find dry shampoo does absolutely nothing for me though!

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  8. Great post and it's nice to know I'm not the only one who has this kind of start to their day!
    I start work at 5am (I too am a big fan of the snooze button) and dry shampoo is an actual LIFE SAVER in the mornings.
    I usually give my face a scrub, quickly rub in some tinted moisturiser, concealer for the bags, bit of mascara and sometimes if I'm not in such a rush, a quick sweep of liquid liner which makes my eyes seem much larger/normal looking.
    Abigail xx
    http://biiicks.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  9. So funny, and so like me!! I more often than not slap my make up on in the car & use dry shampoo oooh...every morning, the shame! My life savers are dry shampoo and bronzer, always makes me look a little more alive :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. oooh I wanna try that eye lighten and depuff gel!

    ReplyDelete

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